


Nightmares, Film Students, and Cults

by LesbeanLatte



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Canon Compliant, College AU, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-09 14:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11671302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbeanLatte/pseuds/LesbeanLatte
Summary: Having grown up in a psych ward, Tim logically believes the tall man in a suit who beckoned him into Rosswood park and away from his secure room as a child was a hallucination. Brian has been struggling with hallucinations ever since his childhood, hallucinations of a very tall man with no face. What does it mean when the tall man appears to both of them at the same time? Who is Alex Kralie and what does he know about a mysterious group called The Order? What does The Order have to do with Brian and Tim's shared hallucinations?EDIT: Abandoned for now - hopefully someday I will finish this story and if you are at all interested I'd be happy to hand it over to anyone else who would like to finish it for me. Message me on Tumblr @ sapphic-spook if you're interested. Sorry for abandoning!





	1. The Imaginary Friend

**Author's Note:**

> TW: psych ward setting, heavy focus on mental illness, hallucinations, blackouts and canon typical spookiness and violence

Ordinary children had imaginary friends. Ordinary imaginary friends didn’t help children escape locked psych wards in the dead of night. Tim Wright was no ordinary child, and his imaginary friends were even farther from ordinary. 

Tim Wright was not like any child Abra Yang had ever met. And she had met some interesting children. She’d met children that fantasized about killing their parents, children that woke up screaming because of night terrors, and one little girl that collected roaches in her nightstand drawer and tortured them. 

“I don’t want to come out tonight.” Tim was staring at an empty space in front of him in the play area which consisted of a few stuffed animals, some books, and a coloring table with crayons. Abra thought it was a sad excuse for a play area, but there wasn’t much she or anyone could do about it. Only soft and harmless toys were allowed. 

“Tim,” she called. The little boy looked up with wide, brown eyes that Abra wanted to describe as innocent but couldn’t. Five years old and already he looks like he’s carrying the weight of the world, she thought. 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“Who are you talking to?” Tim didn’t answer immediately. He looked down like he was in trouble although her tone had been gentle. Abra felt a surge of anger, knowing that this was his instinct because other nurses had been short with him when he referenced ‘going out’ which they all knew meant another frantic search through the forest. 

No one knew how a five-year old child could escape a high-security psych ward on the fifth floor of a hospital let alone end up miles away in the forest. It made them all uneasy, but Abra resented the way some of her coworkers seemed to blame the little boy. Tim was a victim of his own mind. 

“No one,” he said. She gave him a look, and he looked down again, peeking up at her through long lashes. She hated it when the children did that – looked at her like she was going to scold them. She wished she could tell Tim she wasn’t like that and she would never do that. She never wanted to get to that point in her career, the way some of the more seasoned nurses were – hardened, cynical, cold. 

Abra glanced at the big clock ticking on the wall above the nurse’s station. It was seven. Almost time to start having everyone go to bed, and almost time for her shift to end, sadly. She hated leaving the kids. She also hated being alone in her empty apartment, much too big for one person.

She missed college. She missed having a roommate. She missed her hometown. Of course, when you were offered a job right out of school you took it, even if it was far from everyone and everything you knew. This would look good on a resume too, once she finally earned her Ph.D. and went from being Nurse Abra to Doctor Yang, the child psychiatrist. 

“Hey,” she said, walking over to the little boy and sitting beside him. There were no other children in the play section. Everyone else was either watching television or in their rooms. 

“Hey,” Tim replied. 

“You can tell me,” she whispered, leaning in. He looked at her like he wanted to trust her but wasn’t sure. “You can tell me who you were talking to,” she said, looking him in the eyes with a steady gaze she had worked hard to perfect. It wasn’t always easy to make eye contact with the kids she worked with. 

She adjusted her big, round, glasses to make sure that she was looking right at him in a way that she had been told by many five-year-olds made her resemble a wise old owl despite her being fresh out of college. 

Tim leaned in, looking around to make sure no one else was in earshot. “The tall man,” he whispered. Abra felt a cold shiver run down her spine. 

“Tim,” she whispered. “Who is the tall man?” she tried to keep her voice steady, but maybe it shook just a little. 

The tall man. That phrase had rattled something buried in her memory. A nightmare. In the nightmare, she had been walking down a trail in Rosswood park. It was early afternoon and the forest was bright and lit with sunlight. Somewhere, in the distance, children had been laughing. 

In the nightmare, Abra had blinked and it had become night. Instead of children laughing, they were screaming and crying. Looking around desperately for the children she could hear but not see, Abra had seen him. He was tall, as tall as the trees but much thinner, and he wore a black suit. He didn’t have a face. 

Abra shivered, remembering. Instead of a face, the tall man had only a pale silhouette which seemed to stare at her despite not having any eyes. Remembering it made her feel sick and uneasy. 

“Tim,” she repeated. “Who is the tall man?” Tim looked at her desperately and she felt sure that he was about to answer her. His gaze shifted to behind her. Abra glanced behind her to see Cynthia coming her way. 

“Hey,” Cynthia said. “Can you help me start getting everyone to bed?” 

Abra looked at Tim with a sense of desperation, but he was staring at the floor now, refusing to meet her eyes. She had been so sure that she was close to something, close to getting something out of him. She shook herself. She was letting a nightmare brought on by working an emotionally exhaustive job freak her out. “Sure,” she said to Cynthia, standing up. “Tim, you ready for bed?” 

Abra felt the look Tim gave her break her heart. He was terrified. He was petrified of being in that room alone. How she wished she could take him home to her apartment, and let him sleep there. Of course, she knew it was crazy. He was safer, better off, in a hospital. This was where he belonged. 

She couldn’t help but wonder though, why she had to work so hard to convince herself of this. It wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last, time she wondered where, if anywhere Tim Wright would ever be safe and happy.


	2. Tim

Brian tossed a stick through the field for Doge. Mary had named the dog Doge. Brian would have picked something more along the lines of - well, come to think of it he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which he didn’t let his baby sister pick the name, even if it was his dog. 

Really, Mary was sixteen and only two years younger than Brian but she would always be the baby not only to their parents but to Brian as well. Doge came trotting up carrying the big stick in his mouth. Brian took it, ignoring the fact that it was covered in slobber, and tossed it once again as far as he could across the field. The chubby brown pit bull took off after it. Hopefully Doge would soon lose some weight and Mr. Calloway, the stuffy dog trainer, wouldn’t chastise Brian for feeding Doge too much human food when they had their next session. 

If it was up to Brian Doge wouldn’t even continue going to training. He was already certified as a therapy animal, but Brian’s parents were insistent that no animal could ever be trained enough. Doge already looked after Brian during his blackouts and alerted Brian’s parents when he had them. He already led Brian home when he came to his senses in an unfamiliar place. Brian pulled out his phone and glanced at the time. 

“Doge!” he called. The dog raced over to him carrying the giant stick past the wooden sign reading Rosswood park. “Drop it,” Brian demanded. Doge dropped the stick at Brian’s feet and Brian rewarded him with a pat on the head before heading over to his car. 

The car was a maroon Honda from ’91. Nothing fancy, but he had put together all his savings from working construction with his dad to buy it. Brian had fixed the carburetor himself with the help of his dad and some Youtube tutorials and he was proud of that. 

Once Doge was loaded up in the passenger seat Brian revved the engine and turned the car towards the doctor’s office. It was a new doctor and he was sort of nervous. His last therapist, Dr. Carlos, had been kind, and more importantly, he already knew all about Brian’s issues. 

Of course, Dr. Carlos had chosen to abandon Brian and move to Hawaii which Brian couldn’t help but feel sort of erased some of his kindness, even if he knew that wasn’t a fair assessment. Brian thought, if he could run away from himself and movie to Hawaii, he would. Of course, being that he was trapped in his own life as himself, he didn’t have that luxury. Anyway, Brian was pretty much dreading the thought of re-explaining everything to the new doctor. 

The doctor’s office was only a few minutes from Rosswood park which was convenient because Brian figured he could explore the trails and play fetch with Doge before his appointments. Brian had been playing in Rosswood park practically since he could crawl so he knew every inch of the trails. 

Brian pulled into the parking lot and took a deep breath before getting out of the car. It was time. Dr. Yang’s office was on the fifth floor, which meant taking the elevator with Doge which meant an adorable little girl petting Doge’s nose and a mother being stern towards her daughter. Brian told her it was alright but the mother still looked worried.  
Brian understood that not all service dogs could be pet when they were working, but he didn’t mind it at all when innocent little kids wanted to pat the big slobbery dog on the head. He found a sense of normalcy in it, like he was a normal guy with a normal dog. He loved Doge, but he hated the looks he got when he was out in public with him wearing his service jacket. The looks that said ‘you’re not visibly disabled, you’re not old enough to have fought in any war, why do you have that dog?’ The woman gave him that familiar look as he got off the elevator. 

Brian made his way to Dr. Yang’s office. He knocked on the door with her name on a plaque above it, and heard a muffled “One moment!” from inside. 

Curious, Brian pressed his ear to the door. He felt a surge of guilt, imagining how he would feel if someone listened in to his sessions. He was curious though, and not one to sit around idly and do nothing. Brian liked to be in constant action, listening, looking around, anything to silence his own thoughts. 

“I understand, but I have an appointment, the patient is right outside,” Dr. Yang was saying. There was a pause and Brian gathered that she was on the phone. “I know,” she said, sounding softer this time. “But Tim is almost eighteen, and I’m a teen and child psychologist, he’s going to have to learn to communicate with the other staff at some point.” There was another pause. “Yes, of course. Alright, I’ll be there.” There was another pause before she called, loudly, to the door. “Come in!” Brian stumbled back a little, alarmed by the sudden loud voice and then relieved realizing that she didn’t know he had his ear pressed to the door. He opened the door and walked in. 

Dr. Yang’s office was wide and open with a window overlooking Rosswood park behind her desk. There was a big, comfy looking sofa which Brian moved to sit down in before he noticed that Dr. Yang was walking over to the door. Dr. Yang was a middle-aged woman with her black hair in a loose bun. She wore a pantsuit and wide, round, glasses that made her look a little like an owl. 

“Hello,” Dr. Yang said, reaching out a hand which he shook. Her hands felt tiny, like a child’s, and soft. “You must be Brian.” 

“Hi,” he said in a shy voice. “That’s right.”

“Nice to meet you Brian,” she said, and he could tell she was trying to look welcoming but she just looked worried and distracted. “I’m Dr. Yang but all my patients call me Abra.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Brian said. 

“Brian, I hate to do this on our very first appointment but I’m afraid something has come up. It’s an emergency.” Brian’s interest peeked. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“I can’t disclose, I’m afraid,” she said. She didn’t say it in a curt way though, the way some people might have. She sounded genuinely apologetic, if still distracted. Brian was curious and he decided to play on her guilt, just a little, to find out what he could. 

“You’re canceling on me and you can’t tell me why?” he tried to say it and sound disappointed although honestly, he was relieved to put off the appointment. 

Dr. Yang seemed to consider, and sighed, resigning. “A patient has escaped from our teen unit. Normally, well, if this were a normal occurrence anyway, I wouldn’t cancel an appointment with all the other doctors and nurses already searching but, well…” she trailed off, pausing. Realizing that Brian was waiting for a further explanation, she coughed and continued. “Well, this patient doesn’t really respond well to just anyone.” 

“Are they dangerous?” Brian asked, thinking of Mary and his parents at home a few miles away. Dr. Yang looked at him in surprise. 

“Oh no,” she said, quickly. “Not at all. He’s not dangerous, he’s just very, very, scared.” Brian knew all about that. He swallowed hard. 

“Do you uh, have a lot of escaping patients?” Brian asked. 

“This is the only patient who’s ever escaped any of the psych units here, and I’ll be honest, it happens more than I’d like to admit. He could do it even as a kid,” Dr. Yang said. “To this day I have no idea how.” 

“Can I help search?” Brian asked. 

“Thank you so much for asking sweetheart,” Dr. Yang said, and Brian felt oddly endeared by the term sweetheart which he normally would’ve been put off by. “But I’m not sure how you could.” 

“I know the area really well,” Brian offered. 

“Well,” Dr. Yang seemed to consider before shaking herself. “I’m sorry but no. I shouldn’t even have disclosed that this was going on let alone that it’s happened before,” she said. “I’m sorry Brian. This is a terrible way for us to meet, I’m just a little shaken up. Please forgive me and let’s reschedule for next week.” 

“I can do next Saturday,” Brian offered. 

“Sounds like a plan. Does noon work?” 

“Sure.” Dr. Yank wrote down the appointment in a little planner she pulled from her desk, then wrote it down on a sticky note and handed it to Brian. He took the stick note and shoved it in his jeans pocket. 

Dr. Yang apologized several more times and Brian shook her hand before leaving the office and heading back towards the elevator. His mind was racing. 

He thought of his own odd escapes from his bedroom, locked from the outside by a lock his dad had installed out of necessity, which had been happening since he could walk. He thought of the terrifying blackouts when he couldn’t remember where he had been or what he had done. Could this Tim person, this escaping patient, have anything in common with him? 

Brian loaded Doge into the passenger seat and drove back down the road surrounded by trees, thinking. When he got to the turn off he stopped for a few moments, debating. He jumped when someone honked behind him, and made the split-second decision to turn left towards the park instead of right, back towards his home. 

When he got to the park, he noticed several ambulances and police vehicles parked in the parking lot with flashing lights. He parked and got out with Doge. A police officer got out of one of the cars and walked over to Brian who was clipping a leash onto Doge. 

“I’m sorry sir but the park is closed for the night,” the officer said. 

“Oh, um, okay,” Brian replied, getting back into the car with Doge. He decided not to ask any more questions, and instead drove away from the park. He was thinking too hard to be bothered by being told to leave. He was thinking about the nightmares that sometimes happened when he was awake, the nightmares about a tall, thin, man with no face who beckoned him in a way that was both menacing and hypnotic. 

He only drove a few blocks before pulling over and parking on a gravel lot on the edge of the road. Brian couldn’t explain his actions, even to himself, as he climbed out of the car. He supposed it was the thought of someone else like him, someone else who woke up in the woods without any idea how they got there, driving him. 

Of course, this Tim person lived in a psych ward. The way Dr. Yang made it sound, he had lived there since he was a kid. Tim was probably absolutely crazy. But then, so was Brian. Maybe that’s why he was determined to follow the absolutely crazy instinct telling him to search for the missing boy, because he was absolutely crazy himself. His mom always told him not to use that word, but it sure did feel better to just say it than dancing around it. 

“C’mon Doge,” he said, patting his knee. There wasn’t a trail leading away from the small, gravel lot, but Brian thought that was ideal. No police to block off a section where no one in their right mind would get out to walk. 

As soon as he and Doge made their way into the forest Brian found himself starting to question more and more what the heck he was doing. Thorns and brambles and honeysuckle smacked him in the face and he was sure his ankles were rubbing against poison ivy. Doge didn’t seem to mind shoving through the thick forest. In fact, the goofy dog had a wide grin on his face, his tongue hanging out the side. This was just another adventure for him. 

Brian was starting to realize how absolutely crazy he was acting, and really question it. He knew the trails of Rosswood park very well. Emphasis on trails. He didn’t know the endless miles of forest at all. He could easily get lost, and his mom would be furious, and Mary would probably cry and tell him how worried he made her. 

Of course, he could always lie and say he had experienced another episode and didn’t remember how he ended up in the woods, but he had never been the best at lying. Besides, he wasn’t sure he cared to see the look on Mary’s face when she heard about him having another episode. The look that said ‘oh dear, my big brother is crazy and I’m so scared for him, but also I’m a little scared of him.’ He hated that look. 

Brian jumped when he heard something rustling maybe twenty feet from him. He looked over to see a figure, facing away from him. The figure had shaggy, dark brown hair and wore an oversized red flannel and jeans. The figure seemed not to have noticed Brian. He was looking around and when he turned to face Brian, his eyes were filled with fear that made Brian want to give him a big hug despite having no idea who this person was and if they were dangerous. 

“H-hi,” Brian said in a shaky voice. “Are you Tim?” 

“Wh-” the man, who looked to be around the same age as Brian, so about seventeen, gulped, staring at Brian. “How do you know my name? And where am I?” 

“I heard you were missing,” Brian said, holding up the hand that wasn’t grasping Doge’s leash, as if in surrender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd this is a (hopefully) new head canon/idea/theory on how Brian and Tim met. Hopefully you guys like it, thank you for reading, more to come soon xox


	3. Friendship

“I’m, uh, not going to hurt you or anything,” said the mysterious man in the jeans and hoodie. He was wearing the hoodie despite the summer heat. Tim found himself wishing he had that hoodie for himself for the nights when the nurses blasted the air conditioning unnecessarily and gave him only a thin blanket and whatever flimsy pajamas had been donated to the hospital, or the mornings when the water heater wasn’t working and he had to get out of the freezing shower. 

“Okay,” Tim said, staring at the pit bull beside the man. 

“Oh!” the man said, noticing Tim’s gaze and looking down at his dog. “He’s not going to bite or anything. He’s friendly. His name is Doge.” 

“Doge?” Tim asked, cracking a small smile despite himself. Who named their dog Doge? 

“My little sister named her,” explained the man, a blush creeping across his cheeks. Tim smirked a little. He couldn’t remember ever making anyone blush before. It was a new, and not unwelcome feeling. 

“Did your parents name you Hoodie?” Tim asked, in a poor attempt at sarcasm. 

“Not quite,” the man said, his blush growing deeper. “Brian.”   
“Hi Brian,” Tim said. There was a pause. “So, are you part of the search party or what?” 

“No,” Brian said. “I’m uh, just here I guess.” 

“You decided to look for a missing psych patient just ‘cause?” Tim deadpanned. 

“I had an appointment with Dr. Yang and I heard her talking about you. I just wanted to help.” 

Tim scoffed, rolling his eyes and running a hand through his hair. Everyone just wanted to help. How fucking nice. He shook his head, trying to hide some of the anger spilling over. Maybe he didn’t want any help. Maybe he wanted to disappear in the woods forever and never come back. It’s not like anyone other than Abra would miss him and honestly, he was pretty sure her life would be much better without the burden of looking after him constantly. 

“That’s not all,” Brain admitted. Now he had Tim’s attention. “Dr. Yang accidentally let slip that you had done this before.” 

“Oh,” Tim said. Oh. Now it made sense. He was an adventure. He was a mystery. The boy who could escape a locked psych unit and end up in the middle of the woods. What a neat trick! How exciting! “Well I can’t tell you how I escaped.” Might as well break the news right away that he wasn’t nearly as exciting as Brian had probably hoped. “I don’t remember.” For some reason, Brian looked almost excited about this news. 

“You don’t understand,” Brian said in a hurry, stepping closer to Tim through the trees. Tim took a step back. “I’ve experienced the same thing,” Brian said. Wait…what? “Ever since I was a kid. When I heard that you were, maybe sort of like me, I just wanted to meet you.” 

“What do you mean you’ve experienced the same thing?” Tim asked. “What do you mean I’m sort of like you?” 

“Ever since I was a kid. Blackouts. I don’t know. I would have these nightmares, about this really tall man and-”

“Wait WHAT?” Tim asked. He was staring at Brian with an open jaw. Was this a trick? A plan from the doctors to get more out of him? Brian looked like he was being honest, but of course it was impossible to tell. 

“Yeah,” Brian said, slow. “A tall man in a black suit. He doesn’t have a face.” Brian was staring at Tim with wide eyes that Tim was sure mirrored his own. “Tim,” Brian said. “Have you see him too?” 

Tim gulped and nodded, sitting down and leaning against a wide oak tree. Brian walked over and Tim kept his eyes on Doge as Brian sat down leaning against the tree trunk beside him. Doge sat down beside his owner and Tim was comforted to see the animal rested his head against Brian’s lap. If he was that cuddly, he probably wasn’t going to jump up and attack. 

“Wow,” Brian said. “I thought I was alone. I thought…I still kind of think…” 

“That your crazy?” Tim interrupted, looking at Brian. “Join the club. I live in an insane asylum, remember?” 

“Yeah but,” Brian said, struggling for words. “You’re going through the same thing as me!” 

“Who do you think he is?” Tim asked. “The tall man, I mean.” 

“I don’t know,” Brian said. “But I’d be happy if I never saw him again.” 

“Me too,” Tim said. It was nice to talk to someone else who had seen the same things as him. It was different than talking to anyone else, even Abra. 

They sat there, in silence for a time. It was nice. It was nice to sit in the woods and just be. There was no screaming in the background, no sterile smell of chemicals, no concerned nurses watching his every move. It was calm. 

“Do your parents come visit you a lot?” Brian asked. Tim laughed, a quick, humorless laugh. 

His parents. He hadn’t seen his mom in at least six months. She came around, a few times a year, usually near the holidays and a few times she had come for his birthday. She would stay for about an hour, all the while talking about her last vacation, or her job as a receptionist and the office gossip. His dad visited even less often. Tim didn’t think he had seen his dad for more than a ten minute visit since he was around ten. 

“I take that as a no,” Brian said. “What about friends?” Tim laughed again. Friends? What did Brian think the hospital was, boarding school? 

“I live in a fucking psych ward, Brian,” Tim said.

“Right.” There was a pause. “What about the other patients?” Tim answered with a noncommittal shrug. Sure, Susie Malone who always wanted to feel him up in a way that made his skin crawl was friendly, and Brad Carrington who liked to talk about gutting small animals was always up for a conversation. Friends, though? Like the groups of blandly attractive twenty year olds playing fifteen year olds on the TV screen that was always? Friends, like the characters of one of the novels about people from far away times and lands that Abra brought him? He had never experienced such a thing. 

“I see,” Brian said. He looked concerned. 

“I guess I should head back,” Tim sighed. He didn’t want to. He liked being around Brian, even if they had just met. And he had so many questions about Brian’s experienced, his visions of the tall man, and his blackouts. He had to go back though. There was no avoiding the inevitable. 

“Wait,” Brian said, standing up to follow Tim. 

“I know the way,” Tim said. “You can walk with me.” He tried to hide how happy the thought of walking in companionship with Brian made him. 

“No,” Brian said, and Tim felt his heart sink. “Well,” Brian corrected himself. “I mean yes, I’ll follow you back, but I meant no, you don’t have to go back so soon. That is, uh, if you don’t want. What I mean is, maybe we could just…talk for a bit?” 

Tim felt his heart racing and he couldn’t explain it. Part of him wondered if Brian was messing with him. Was he a curious local who wanted to know all about the crazy kid from the mental ward? Was he even telling the truth about the visions? He had to be, Tim thought. How else would he know about the tall man? 

“Okay,” Tim said, sitting back down against the tree. He felt a rush of something, like butterflies in his stomach, when Brian sat beside him, their arms brushing. 

Brian was handsome. He wasn’t handsome like the stars of the movies that played every other Friday from The Avengers to Legally Blonde. Still, there was something to be said about his broad shoulders, square chin, and kind eyes. Especially his kind eyes. Tim felt like he could look at Brian’s face all day. Instead, he looked ahead into the trees. 

“I don’t really know what to say,” Brian admitted. Good, thought Tim, so he wasn’t alone in being unsure what questions to ask. 

“This isn’t exactly a normal situation,” Tim said. 

“No,” Brian agreed. “It’s not. But maybe it could be.” 

“What do you mean?” Tim asked. 

“I could come and visit you sometimes,” Brian said. “If you wanted.” 

“Oh,” Tim said. He stared ahead. What exactly did Brian want from him? Answers? He had none. Or, a worse thought crept into his mind. “I don’t need any pity,” Tim said. 

“No!” Brian said. “It’s nothing like that. It’s just, I feel like we’ve both had these weird experiences, and, I don’t know, if a few things were different maybe I’d be the one in the psych ward.” If a few things were different, thought Tim, maybe I would be the one living at home with a little sister and a mom and dad and even a dog. Tim tried to push away the resentful feelings. Brian was looking at him with those gentle eyes that made him forget what he was thinking about. 

“So you mean,” Tim said. “Like…you would come visit me because…we would be friends?” he hated the uncertainty and insecurity that leaked into his tone. 

“Exactly,” Brian said. Tim felt a smile creep across his face despite himself. 

“Okay,” he said.


	4. Madness of Two

Brian stared at the college acceptance letter in his hand his heart racing. He was excited. This was what he wanted. So why did he feel like he was falling into a spiral of guilt and uneasiness? 

It was a stupid question. He knew why. He had allowed himself to fall into a routine that he was scared to leave, and more scared for the people, or rather person, he would be leaving behind. What would Tim do on Saturday afternoons when they usually sat and played cards? What would he do when it was visiting hour and no one came? Of course, Brian realized, he would probably do whatever he had done before the two met on that day in the woods. 

At first, they had talked about the nightmares. It had been comforting to talk about the experiences with someone who knew, not a doctor, or a sympathetic parent, but someone who really knew what it was like to see that horrible tall figure standing over your bed or outside your window. 

Their conversations had moved to nicer topics though, like what it would be like when Tim finally got out and got to attend school, and their shared love for classic movies such as Gone with the Wind and Casablanca, as well as, and Brian was pleasantly surprised to learn that Tim enjoyed this last one, Brokeback Mountain. 

Doge nuzzled Brian’s hand, and Brian patted the bed he was sitting on for the big pit bull to jump up beside him. He had made the decision to leave Doge with his parents and Mary when he went to college. 

If he could leave the animal that had been his companion through his traumatic episodes, guiding him home when he woke up lost, miles from home, and keeping him safe when he blacked out and acted erratically, he should be able to leave anything – and anyone. Brian swallowed hard. How would it be when he was all alone at college with no one that understood him the way Tim did? 

The new medication Dr. Abra had him on was working wonders, enough that he had decided it was safe to be without Doge. It wasn’t the illness or the episodes he was worried about – it was everything else. Who would he talk to when he inevitably failed a quiz? Who would he sit with in comfortable silence when he just needed a friend? Sure, he would make new friends. He had friends at school, some of whom were going to the same college as him, but no one would ever replace Tim. 

“How the hell am I going to tell him?” Brian muttered to his empty bedroom. He ran a hand through his hair, falling back into bed. 

The hours of the day passed slow. Brian felt as if his parents’ and teachers’ congratulations over the college acceptance were told in slow motion. He watched the clock during all his classes. When the final bell rang at last he wanted to run to his car. Instead, he made his way at a normal pace to the school parking lot. 

When he got to the hospital, he felt as if time sped up again. Suddenly, he wasn’t in such a rush. How was he going to break the news? He dreaded the exchange, which was an odd feeling because he always looked forward to seeing his best friend. 

He reached the lobby outside the psych unit and said hello to Greg at the front desk, signing in and showing his ID to receive his visitors pass before Greg let him into the psych unit. Tim was sitting on the bench near the nurse’s station, looking down at his hands. Brian made his way over and sat down beside him. 

“Hi,” he said. 

“Hi,” Tim replied, giving him that crooked half smile that made Brian melt every time. The smile faded quick. “What’s wrong?” 

“Am I that obvious?” Brian asked with a nervous laugh. Tim just looked at him. Brian took a deep breath and avoided Tim’s eyes. “I got into college,” he blurted out. 

“What?” Tim asked. Brian forced himself to look at Tim and was surprised to see that Tim looked taken aback, but not upset. “That’s great, Brian.” 

“I’m gonna miss you a lot man,” Brian said. 

“I’ll miss you too,” Tim admitted. “But who knows, maybe I’ll be able to get my GED and come to college with you.” 

“That would be awesome,” Brian said, lighting up. 

“This new medication Abra has us both on,” Tim said. “It’s helping me a lot.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“Maybe,” Tim hesitated, looking hopeful but also worried, like what he was hoping for was too much to ask. As if the world hadn’t dealt him a cruel enough hand. As if asking to be allowed to leave a hospital and go to school was asking too much. “Maybe this is my ticket out of here,” Tim said. “This medication I mean. Can you imagine the two of us at college together?” 

Brian felt himself hit with a wave of emotion. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Tim that his vision of the two of them at college could be possible, he was just worried. He was worried that it was too much, aiming too high. “That would be amazing,” he said. 

“Hey,” Tim leaned into Brian, trying to get Brian to meet his eyes. “So amazing the thought made you cry?” 

“Shut up,” Brian muttered, wiping a tear away. “I’m not crying.” 

“Okay,” Tim said. He coughed. Brian gave him a worried look. “I’m fine,” Tim said. 

Brian felt something in his throat and coughed as well. He tried to clear his throat but it turned into more coughing. His vision went blurry. He didn’t have Doge with him, he had started going places without the dog as practice for when he started living without him altogether. If he had an episode now, well, he was in a hospital but who knew what he would do to escape that situation? The version of himself that escaped locked rooms and managed to appear far from home would certainly be able to escape the hospital. 

The coughs started to fade and everything went back into focus. Tim’s coughing was also slowing. A few nurses were looking at them with worried expressions. Looking up at the plastic window on one of the doors to a patient’s room, Brian saw a reflection that made his heart stop and his entire body go rigid. It was the tall man. He was somehow in the hospital. Brian heard Tim’s sharp inhale beside him and the two exchanged a glance. 

“Did you-?” Brian started and Tim nodded. 

“We both saw him at the same time?” Tim whispered. Brian stared at Tim, wide eyed. “What the hell does that mean?” Tim asked. “How is that possible?” Brian just shook his head. He had no idea. 

That night, Brian couldn’t sleep. He lay in bed tossing and turning and thinking about what had happened at the hospital. If Tim had seen the tall man’s reflection, that had to mean something. He grabbed his phone and ignored the time that popped up, well past two in the morning. 

He opened Safari and typed in the term ‘shared hallucinations.’ The term Folie à deu came up, and was described as ‘shared psychosis’ or ‘the madness of two.’ Brian spent hours researching the occurrence. He discovered that it happened generally when two people were socially isolated and in close proximity to one another. Well, that made sense. He and Tim did share a similar if not identical disorder, and they had been sitting close to each other and having an intimate moment, oblivious to the nurses and patients around them. 

Brian coughed. He glanced at the clock. It was five till three. He coughed again, and everything went black.


	5. Alone

Tim paced back and forth across his room. His mind and heart were racing. He was wringing his hands again and again, ignoring the pain in his fingers. It couldn’t be. No. NO. 

He collapsed on the floor beside his bed, burying his face in his hands. The news had come in the form of Nurse Cynthia, a friendly enough but somewhat emotionally dead and falsely cheerful nurse that Tim had known for as long as he could remember. She had knocked on his door and come in before he could say anything to invite her in. She told him she had bad news and then awkwardly beat around the bush for so long that Tim felt like he was going to jump up and shake her. 

Abra was dead. Murdered in her sleep at around three in the morning. Three. That’s when…No. NO. It couldn’t be. He had been here. He had been in his room. There had been no search for him. He had woken up in his bed. So…He must have been in his room. He couldn’t have left…Right? 

There was a knock at his door. “Come in!” Tim called, distracted. He didn’t get up from the floor until he saw that it was Brian who was walking in. Brian closed the door behind him. 

He walked over to Tim and Tim stood up allowing Brian to gather him in a bear hug. Brian squeezed hard and Tim leaned his head into Brian’s shoulder. He didn’t ever want the embrace to end. 

Of course, it had to end. They sat down on the bed together. “Cynthia told me,” Brian said. 

“Right,” Tim sniffed, wiping his eyes. 

“I can’t believe it,” Brian said, shaking his head. 

“I can’t either,” Tim said. He tried to muffle a sob with his hands and Brian wrapped an arm around him. 

He put his head on Brian’s shoulder, allowing the sobs to come in heavy gasps that rocked his body. Brian ran a comforting hand through his hair, squeezing his shoulder with his arm. What the hell was he going to do when Brian moved away and left him? 

He would have no one. He’d always had Abra. When Brian told him he was moving away to college Tim had carefully reacted in the way that he had practiced in the mirror a hundred times, knowing that this news was coming. Excited. Hopeful. 

Now he couldn’t deny that what he felt was utter hopelessness. He was going to be more alone than ever with no Abra, no Brian, no one. He had to get out of this place. He made the decision then that the bluff he had come up with to ease Brian’s guilt about leaving, the white lie that he thought getting his GED was possible, would be reality. It had to be. He had to get out of the hospital. 

“She was the closest thing to family I had,” Tim said into Brian’s shoulder. 

“I know,” Brian said, hugging Tim close to him. “I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry?” Tim sat up and looked at Brian carefully. 

“Yeah,” Brian said, but he looked nervous. “I’m sorry that this happened.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Tim said, and he hated himself for allowing it to sound like an accusation. Brian was hiding something though. He could see it. He could always read Brian. Tim stared at Brian until Brian seemed to crack. 

“Oh God,” Brian breathed. “Tim, I had a blackout last night.” Tim’s eyes widened in horror. 

He looked at the door before leaning in towards Brian. “I did too,” he said, his voice shaking. 

“No,” Brian said. “No, no, no. Tim, don’t go there. Don’t fucking go there.”

“Brian,” Tim said. “What if we-”

“I said don’t go there,” Brian snapped, and Tim was taken aback. He had never heard Brian use that tone before. 

They sat in silence for several minutes, contemplating. Tim had no idea what to say. He had just lost one of the closest people in the world to him. He was about to lose Brian to college. He couldn’t deal with the possibility that- but he couldn’t even think it. He refused to think it. 

“The madness of two,” Brian muttered more to himself than to Tim, it seemed. 

“The what?” Tim asked. 

“Nothing.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You were plenty excited about this last night,” Derrick said. 

“Excited about your creepy cult?” Brian asked with a nervous laugh. “I don’t think so.” 

“I have it on video man,” Derrick said. He pulled out his phone and Brian felt his stomach drop. He had been drinking the night before but up until this point he had thought he remembered everything pretty well. 

They were sitting together on a bench outside of school. Brian was just killing time until Tim arrived. Today was the day his best friend in the world arrived at school, and he was incredibly excited. Classes didn’t start for another week, but Tim was coming early to get settled. 

After the horrible news about Dr. Abra Yang, Brian had almost considered staying home for a year after graduating, taking a gap year to ‘save money’ which was code for ‘make sure Tim was alright.’ His parents wouldn’t hear of it though. So, he and Tim had stayed in touch through nightly phone calls and visits during every break. 

Tim had gotten out of the psych ward at the beginning of the first Summer after Brian’s freshman year and, having been studying while in the ward, passed his GED tests almost immediately. He was now going to be starting school only a year after Brian. The late summer air was warm and Brian’s mood was happier than he had been for a while. He would get to show Tim around the school this evening and he couldn’t wait. 

“See,” Derrick said, interrupting Brian’s train of thought. He held up his phone, showing a video. 

In the video, they were at a bar. Brian had a beer in his hand and he was obviously very drunk. What? He didn’t remember drinking that much, and he didn’t remember this bar. It was like watching an unsettling scene from a movie, seeing himself in a scenario he had no recollection of. 

“The Order,” Brian said in the video, his voice slurred. “Sounds awesome. And you guys worship this God, this Slenderman?” 

“To The Order!” Derrick said in the video, holding up his drink. The entire group they were with, including, to Brian’s surprise, Sarah, held up their drinks and clinked them together. He didn’t remember Sarah being with them last night. Then again, he didn’t remember or recognize this bar either so clearly he had ended up drinking more than he realized. 

“Where were we?” Brian asked. “I don’t recognize this bar.” 

“It’s a private place,” Derrick said. “Ask your friend Alex, he knows all about it.” With that, he got up and walked away. 

Alex? Why would Alex Kralie from film class know all about this private bar? What was The Order? Why was Brian’s friend from theater class, Sarah, at this bar? Did she, as Derrick put it, ‘know all about it’ as well? 

He sighed, leaning back. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he hurried to answer it, seeing that it was Tim. “Hello?” 

“Hey,” came Tim’s voice, which sounded happier than Brian had ever heard it. “I’m just pulling in.” 

“Awesome!” Brian said. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” 

He hurried towards the student parking lot. It was a bit of a walk, so Brian moved as fast as he could without flat out sprinting. When he saw Tim, he moved to pull him into a hug but was shocked when Tim pretty much shoved him backwards, falling to his knees in a fit of coughing.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise the college AU tag wasn't a lie, I've already written more of this story and have the entire story mapped out. Hopefully, you enjoyed some baby Tim because little Tim living in a mental hospital is something my emo butt thinks about a lot. PS I promise this story isn't going to be TOO angsty. But, you know, a little emo-ness never hurt anyone. Or, maybe it did, but isn't that a writer's job?


End file.
